usagi-chan-the-panda

Dear -insert name- We used to be friends and now we aren't (it wasn't you it was me i'm so sorry so sorry) You grew up too fast, and I didn't grow up at all (or so you said I was too childish too uncool) Even though I tried to keep up with you with the drugs and the drinks and the sex and the pain but I couldn't - wouldn't (i always wished i was more mature but your way was a bad way a very bad way) You stopped coming over to talk and play and everything we used to do (fashion shows and redecorating and singing and living, actually LIVING) you aren't living now (your just a corpse, skin and bones and drugs and makeup and lonely

Starting college soon, and I keep remembering things that, up until now, I had forgotten. Living back in Indiana, my small town that was huge when I was a kid, being pushed on the swings in my grandfathers' yard, the ones he built himself, carving pumpkins at Halloween, and getting sticky pumpkin guts everywhere, swimming in the neighboors pool while my grandmother kept watch, playing video games with my older brother, cuddling up next to my mom at night. I remember moving, to a little yellow house, with my mom and my brother. Just up the street, turn, go up the hill, turn left and go up the street, and there was my grandparents' house. I rem

I stare at the television. 'Addiction', huh? weird show, sad show, but I keep watching and watching. Mom wakes up, comes out for some water. Jumps. "What are you still doing up? Its' two in the morning," she says, yawning. I laugh, say I Got caught up in a Story I was reading, pointing to my laptop. she giggles, looks at the TV. "WHAT are you watching?" I glance at it, act surprised, like I haven't been Watching, glued to the show. "Something about people being Addicted to drugs, I think." She shakes her head "Why do you watch these?" I say it was just background noise, and that we both need to go to sleep. She a